WITH SINCERE GRATITUDE! I Want to first and foremost thank every single person I who has in one way or the other played a vital role in my life, right from the cradle of my mother’s womb. Had anyone terminated my life before now or succeeded as a major obstacle against my progress, this book may not have been written in the first place.
In view of this, I sincerely appreciate my dad of blessed memory and my aged mom, a great grandma with a heart of gold, a ‘Watchman,’ the prophetess of Henry Ikebuwa’s family; still waiting to see the consolation of her children. Mom, to say all about you here will be like putting up inexhaustible volumes for a big library. Your marriage was an inspiration to all of us and to so many of your friends and family members. Mom, I will never forget the manner in which you showed great maturity in handling those little crises between you and Dad. We never remembered seeing you and dad as fighters or you being so distrustful of or disrespectful to your husband – our Dad. I have indeed learned a great deal from both you and our late father and what your marriage had colourfully played out for us all, briefly love, submission and hard work. You are the one who gave me the opportunity to push my education further after my primary certificate. A mother who wouldn’t even allow her son to jump out of the higher institution after his OND (Ordinary National Diploma) in Civil Engineering, due to the ‘zeal of God without knowledge’ that her son wanted to exhibit. I am who I am now thanks to the grace of God working through your life. Your wisdom still amazes many including men and women of God in spite of your limitation in reading letters. I hereby salute the super-intelligent and spiritual mother that you really are a mother that would have passed for being a Bishop’s wife. I pray that you keep enjoying the abundant fruits of your efforts, in the mighty name of Jesus.
Sincerely also, I thank my beloved wife, whose immeasurable support has given me a good reputation among the elders ‘in the gates.’ From the bottom of my heart, is a A big thank you for being my main editor and helping me perfect every detail. You are my best English teacher! Merci beaucoup ma femme.
This window of gratitude can never be closed, if I don’t introduce to my readers the two fathers, teachers and mentors, who I will continually allow to lay their hands on the pate of my head for more spiritual impartation. Dr. John Esuga Akpami is the founder of Global International Ministry and also leads the Christian Teaching Centre, where he shares his passion for teaching and guiding others in their faith. Thank you Papa for yielding yourself to God’s leading in getting me to know Christ during your National service, in 1981. Thank you for delivering me from that corrupt DJ life: you used your life as practicals to show me Christ-in character, prayers, study of the Word and evangelism.
What more shall I say about my pastor, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya of The Fountain of Life Church, who (with my late spiritual Mom, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya of the blessed memory) nurtured me in ministry leadership and in the area of marriage. Your impartation upon our lives (my wife and I) through the Word of God, no doubt has brought tremendous blessings to many today, especially through the Church and School of marriage ministries under our care. Your fatherly role and impeccable style of leadership are the bases on which we draw from for ministry today. To this we highly appreciate you and give God all the glory.
To all the members of Grace Finishers’ Assembly, including those who were there during our 9yrs of ministry at Egbeda Chapter of The Fountain of Life Church. You are the inaugural recipients of the blessings from the School of Marriage. I’m truly grateful to you, Gfarians, for your constant support and for having faith in me as one of your best leader. I truly appreciate your trust and all your support Your loyalty to me has turned us to be friends of one family of Christ in the liberty that He has purchased for us.
NTRODUCTION
The importance of family really can’t be stressed enough. It is the most essential institution on earth. Ephesians Chapter five shows us how marriage is highly valued. The dynamic between a husband and wife serves as a reflection, a model of Christ’s union with His Church. Apostle Paul, in admonishing husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:21-33 over their divine functions, makes us to realize that the relationship between Christ and the church is the perfect example to be emulated. Marriage on earth, is an allegory that conveys moral truth in a hidden manner.
Societies and cultures today assume that many who go into the relationship of marriage have a proper understanding of what marriage is all about. Several calamities that befall marriages today, no doubt point to just one thing – lack of knowledge of God’s Word (Hosea 4:6). Many atimes, marriage failures are nothing but total ignorance or outright stubbornness against the will of God and unpreparedness to cope with challenges that manifest within and without. Jesus said in Matthew 19:6; “… Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” It takes the knowledge of God’s Word for us to keep our marriages running against being separated or divorced.
About 75% of the places where I have ministered on marriage and had set up a priority test – to ascertain the level of understanding of brethren, on how to handle relationships – showed a lack of knowledge of God’s will. When priorities are reordered, chaos is bound to occur in such relationships. For example, when a marriage partner begins to love his work, parents, child, material goods, football or even his or her pastor above his or her spouse, the peace and success of that relationship would definitely be threatened. The devil finds such homes as good targets in which to carry out his devilish plan to divide and steal their blessings.
It’s true—when we don’t understand the purpose of something, we’re more likely to misuse it. The same God who created marriage, gave us the manual (Bible) with which to successfully run our marriages to benefit mankind and glorify Him. But often, people set aside God’s plan and, as a result, miss out on the true meaning and blessings that come with His purpose for marriage. This has made many either to crash out or live a battered and unfulfilled life in their union. Surprisingly, the Church, which is God’s living organism-the pillar and ground of truth on this terrestrial zone hasn’t been spared from causes of separation and divorce.
It’s pathetic to note that despite all the assurances of God’s promises and resources to His children, many marriages are already shipwrecked, while some are presently being rocked by a lot of reasons that could have been avoided. Too many, I mean too many people, have boarded THE MARRIGESHIP without heaven’s compass and have sunk into the dead sea of untold calamities. They never got to the lighthouse or harbour point.
Too many Bible believers have skipped the essential marriage courses in the Bible thereby bringing pains and bitterness to many and total disgrace to the body of Christ. May your marriage not plunge into the worldly sea of temptation, sin and corruption. One mistake in a man or woman’s life is enough to affect those around him or her and may also affect generations unborn from such a person. In spite of the fact that our Creator and sole Owner of our lives and the marriage Institution has said, “I hate divorce,” the increase in divorce rates in What’s happening across countries around the world today is honestly quite concerning. Many minsters of the gospel haven’t been spared too.
Even unbelieving judges in high courts have witnessed in bewilderment, an increasing number of divorces and separations among believers in Christ. A Christian couple who visited Nigeria in January 2018 said to us; ‘the divorce rate in the U.S. among Christians is 52%.’ I wonder what percentage it is in Nigeria, where there have been many personal divorces with several remarriages without even going to the courts! These and many more have resulted in the increasing number of single parents, apart from cases of bereavement of one partner or the other.
I have had periods in my waking moments, when God seriously engaged my mind with marriage teachings. I remember saying to my wife few times then, ‘Chérie B, God keeps speaking to me about marriage,’ and then she would say to me, ‘then write them down.’ My reply had always been; ‘they are coming faster than I could catch them through writing’. My wife has always been a faster writer than I am. Her handwriting speed flows with much ease as the ink is free to go. But for me, God has given me a kind of grace that enables me store up spiritual encounters wonderfully in the revelation bank of my spirit. It is from there that I have drawn out a few books including this one in your hand, and several others that will be in print sooner or later. How just one phrase spoken to my spirit by the Holy Spirit has turned into several pages later, leaves me in awe of God. The results of my books have left me humble as I simply recognize that it is the grace of God. In short, when my best man at my wedding saw the first book that I wrote, ANGER! Help Me!, He was completely surprised and exclaimed, “Wait… Pastor Chris?” a book?’ He told me how he had seen a music album with my picture on it; which has also been confirmed by a pastor’s wife. And to people’s astonishment this is my fifth book within the space of four years. 7-point Agenda for Marriage is one of those grace-works upon my life, which came from a singular encounter I had with the Holy Spirit in 2009.
Dear reader, as you read, you have here right in your hands, some proven revelations that have since turned my own marriage around and that of numerous others too! I didn’t realize my gross limitation to the purpose of marriage, until the Holy Spirit asked me,
“WHAT DID GOD CREATE MARRIAGE FOR?”
Please note, that although I have stated in a few places in this book, precisely between pages one and four and also on the back cover, that marriage was created for
- Companionship,
- Procreation and
- S$xual intimacy and enjoyment; however, I have decided to concentrate more on the new revelations the Holy Spirit has given me.
These revelations are well covered within four more points I was privileged to have received from the Holy Spirit in 2009, after He asked me WHAT ELSE? and graciously gave me the answers. This is deliberate because we have many books on marriage, that have deeply covered the first three points which have become generally known in the church. The 7-point Agenda for Marriage, therefore, is to aid us in rediscovering more of what God created marriage for apart from: companionship, procreation and S$xual intimacy and enjoyment.
If you are a single man or woman, widow or a widower and expecting to get married or remarry, get the right knowledge now; if you are already married, get more knowledge and put them to work. Ensure that you please God in the way you relate to your spouse. Let it be according to the will of God. If you are a single parent or a divorcee and have settled your case with God, and all the same want to remarry, you can rewrite your wrongs by utilizing the truths contained in this book to do better in your future marriage. Amen.
